In My Arms Again
by XxfallingdeeperXx
Summary: So far away from where you are...these miles have torn our worlds apart, and I miss you...and I wish you were here. EO Kleenex Warning


Disclaimer: *shakes Wolf's hand* Alright, sign here...let's see...I will never come within fifty feet of El-AH! NO WAY! *rips paper up* I DON'T OWN IT!

**OW! Damn plot polar bear! Kleenex Warning!**

"Marry me." Olivia's eyes widened as she looked down at Elliot kneeling before her and holding a ring with a smile. Its so slow how she leans down to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him how much she missed him. But the pieces of her dream shatters into pieces and she's falling. Falling.

She shoots up in her bed in a cold sweat, and she begins to cry. The same has happened for the past three months.

She can't go back to sleep, so she walks to the bathroom. She splashes water on her face, and as she looks up, she sees Elliot standing behind her grinning. She turns and sees no one and tears fall once more. Like always. As she makes her way to the kitchen, she still hears him screaming for her. She can still remember.

_Beads of sweat formed over her brow as she follows her partner's screams. But as she turns a corner, Martin and his gang are running and she sees Elliot's battered body. _

_She runs towards him and kneels, picking him up and holding him to her chest. "Liv..." he whispers. She looks at his bruised face. Even so close to death, he still looks beautiful. "I love you...don't ever forget that." He's talking to her as if he won't make it. "I love you too, Elliot." is all she squeaks out._

_She prays he will. But he weakly strokes her face and whispers again in a raspy voice, "Kiss me." _

_That's exactly what she does and at that moment as his lips touched hers, he died in her arms._

The memory has never faded, even though it happened months ago. It's still fresh in her mind. Tears fall freely down her face as she buries her head in her arms and cries so hard she starts to wretch. Again. She pulls herself together long enough to get a shower and dress for work.

It's been quieter at work than she expected. No one greets her as much as she'd like too. The most recent words of comfort she got were at Elliot's funeral. She remembers that too.

_Olivia stood there frozen as Elliot Stabler's casket was descended into the ground. Fin and Munch are at both of her sides, letting her take turns crying on their shoulders._

_They're crying too, trying to stay strong for their "little sister". Cragen standing not to far away, tears slipping down his face silently. Kathy and the kids are close to him. _

_Kathy's bawling into his jacket. Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie are all sobbing. And Dickie is holding his twin sister while he tries to look tough, but he's failing only because tears are slipping easily down his fragile cheeks._

She shakes her head from the memory and sits down at her desk. The one across from her is empty. She wishes, though, it was full. And occupied. And that person who is occupying that desk would smile at her and tell her good morning. And ask her to get him some coffee.

And eventually when she did, he would give her a grin that melted her heart, her soul, and her ability to walk for at least an hour.

Tears fall down her face again, and she wipes them away furiously, not wanting to break down at work. She sees Fin, who looks in the same direction and smiles a broken smile. She does the same and doesn't do anything else.

Olivia takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes widen, so she knows she's finally awake. Even though she's been awake for the past three months. Last night was the first time she had gotten any real sleep. Even if she did fall asleep, she'd just have more dreams about him. She remembers the last time they were together.

_He tickles her mercilessly on the bed. "Eliot, I'm begging you, stop!" He finally does and she pulls his face down for a sweet kiss. She's glad they tried to be together. It's the only thing she ever wanted, and she's glad she got it._

_He's grinning like a tiger as he sheds his shirt. Her eyes widen in interest as she kisses him again. _

_All their clothes are on the floor, and he's making love to her torso. He rises up once more and she can't stop smiling. He presses against her entrance. "You ready?" She nods and wraps her arms around his neck as he enters her. "I love you." he groans out._

As she snaps back to reality, she realizes she's shaking. She never could get the image of them making love on the bed out of her head. She can't take it anymore as the work day goes on, and as soon as she clocks out, she jumps in her car and drives to a familiar place.

On the way, she buys three of his favorite flowers: a daisy, a rose, and a lily. She remembered something about him telling her they all reminded him of her. Tears escape again and she parks. She steps outside and she sighs when she hears her boots crunch the leaves underneath her feet.

As she walks over to her destination, her legs give under her, and she ends up kneeling.

Her eye level is met with cold, hard, unforgiving, concrete; with the words that used to make her lips tingle: Elliot Stabler.

She kisses her hand and then presses her hand against the tombstone. "Hi, Elliot. It's me again." She puts the flowers down on his grave, just another trio of the dozens she's brought. "I miss you...so much." She wipes at her eyes. "The kids miss you, the squad misses you. I wish you were here..."

Olivia can't help but choke at her next words. "I wish you could witness what's gonna happen in about seven months..." She places her hand on her belly and half smiles. "He's gonna be just like his daddy..at least, I hope so."

She bites her lip as if thinking of something, then decides against it. "I wish you were in my arms again. You're all I think about anymore. Its like I can't even focus on the job without you. I-Its like I expect you to be leaning against the wall in interrogation, smiling and waiting for me so I can watch you beat the crap out of a perp."

She softly kisses the stone. "I love you, Elliot Stabler. Don't ever forget that." As her hand lowers from her belly, it brushes past her gun, and she looks at it in thought. After a second, she grips it, but as soon as she does, a warm gust of wind whooshes at her from behind.

"I'll always be in your my arms, Olivia. I promise."

She swears she's not crazy. She hears his voice and she suddenly feels an enveloping over her. As if someone's holding her. "I love you Olivia." Olivia hears it again and she feels tingling on her lips, and a warmth bloom into her body. The dead petals from past flowers blow into a swirl and carry off into the distance as she strains to listen to the voice, and finally smiles with a tear-stricken face.

"Always."

***cries* Oh dear Lord, that made me cry writing it. *chases flower petals* WAIT FOR ME, ELLY! I LOVE YOU! R/R please!**


End file.
